Am I a writer? Am I a speaker? Is this my purpose? Is this really what You told me to do? Because where are the results? Where are my readers? Where are my listeners?
Should I quit? Why can’t I quit? WHY, Lord, can’t I just quit?
I’ve worked hard to rear and homeschool six children. I’m aging. This is a world where even in church the cute and popular lead. This is an uphill battle when I am going downhill. Yes, I’ve worked hard my whole life and now I’m a grandmother. Can’t I be released from this drive to write and speak? This constant pulling me this way and that? Aren’t you able to bring success and my struggle end? Or can’t You give me the freedom to just be retired?
His answer surprises me.
Jesus lives for God. Not did live. Present tense. He lives for God. (Romans 6:10) He has this LIFE thing going on in Him that’s perpetual, lively, green, fresh, and constant. And that indwelling resurrection LIFE is greater than my temptation to give up my calling. The Word says Christ’s life is to LIVE for God.
The same chapter goes on to say, I am an instrument of righteousness. Jesus died for me to have his indwelling, resurrection power on my insides.
Read further and it says we are slaves to His righteousness. This past Sunday at church, the message was from chapter one of Philippians where Paul declares he and Timothy are bondservants of Jesus Christ. Coincidence? That word servant in the Greek means one who is solely committed to another. Both men are compelled to do for the One to which they are committed. They cannot stop. No matter how hard. No matter how long. No matter persecution. No matter, no matter!
He loves me, He loves me not, HE LOVES ME!
You know the one thing I’ve noticed about life? The message has pretty much always been—never give up. If God calls you to it, you’d might as well keep going. Ups and downs must not stop you. Meager numbers—lack—must not stop you. People must move out of your way.
I appeal to you therefore, brethren, and beg of you in view of [all] the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship.
Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you]. Romans 12:1-2 Amplified Bible
Believers, when you want to quit what you believe God has called you to do, remember you are not your own. Everything you are and will be belongs to the Source of all effort, energy, mind, and emotion. He has a plan, specific to using you. It may not be the plan you think, nonetheless you are moving toward something He has in store for His glory. If our life on this planet is a mere dot in time, spend it well. Live for Him. That is the greatest satisfaction. His reward is with Him.
And behold I am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me… Revelation 22:12 NKJ