God’s peace. Is it illusive?
Early last month I told you about my son’s oncology visit. The turmoil had been present for several weeks prior—the mass in his shoulder ever growing and causing an enormous, unthinkable amount of pain and suffering. After what seemed an eternity with the oncologist going back and forth over inconclusive biopsies, waiting on the insurance company to approve tests, and not knowing the truth until the actual moments of surgery, the mass appeared benign to the surgeon. Due to possibilities of recurrence a radiation treatment was performed during his hospital stay.
Today my son discovers the pathology of the tumor at his post-op visit. His symptoms improved dramatically after surgery, although he will need physical therapy and faces a plethora of medical bills. By appearances, he was growing a new bone. The mass, a near golf ball sized, hard, prickly hunk of bone had grown tentacles up into his muscle and down into the tissues of his shoulder bone.
God’s peace. Is it illusive?
Part of this time coincided with my sudden stroke-like illness, spring break, and another son’s house selling. My husband and I had all nine grandchildren taking turns visiting that week of the break and the two weeks since we’ve been helping with grands off and on.
Throughout all the things that have tested me, I’ve experienced peace, but my feelings were tamped down—numbed from coping, traveling, babysitting… My Father? Still there.
Yesterday morning a friend, recently widowed, spoke of emptiness and lack of feeling. My word to her? It’s okay to feel empty—depleted. We have a High Priest who is acquainted with our suffering. His peace abides in us whether our human emotions experience anything at all.
So when our surface feelings grow barren is it possible to have underlying peace—free from worry, impending doom, or fear of catastrophe? Without a doubt. Our God is an ever present help in time of trouble. The Holy Spirit resides as we abide. He never leaves or forsakes us—no matter outcomes. Feelings are deceptive.
This morning, I want to give God praise. I thank Him for taking care of my dear son—something beyond human capability. But mostly, I want to thank Him for the way He holds us steady in the center of chaos—that, my friends, is nothing short of a miracle.
The engrafted presence of His Spirit reminds me of springtime. Though we have harsh winters complete with gales of damaging winds or pounding ice, the life is in us. Its appearance will always resurface. The Holy Spirit is our sap and regenerative life source. Peace is not outcome based.
God is our refuge and strength. A very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, even though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea…
Psalm 46: 1-2
Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses…
Hebrews 4: 14-15 A
Listen for His Whispers